Faith was a concept I didn’t understand when I first got here. I knew it was something that took courage and strength, and I had read stories throughout the Bible about the “heroes of faith” and what it looked like. I read stories of Noah building a boat because God told him to even though he had no experience in this area. I’m sure people came up to him and thought “this man is absolutely crazy” for making an enormous boat and putting two of every kind of animal on board. It’s not as if Noah had a history in carpentry and knew how to cut down trees, was given a blueprint of exact measurements on the dimensions, or had a knowledge of animals and how to tell which one was male and which was female. All these thoughts flow into my mind. It makes me think Noah was not qualified for the job God assigned him. And yet, in the eyes of God, he was. It all came down to a choice for Noah. He could believe he was capable of doing the job and God knew what He was doing, or he could choose to believe he was not capable and refuse to do what God asked him to do. In this case, Noah “pulled up his big boy pants” and decided to accept the challenge given to him and walk forward in faith.
I’ve often heard the saying “Your faith needs to look like something.” So I have often pondered, “What does that look like then?” I can look back to numerous times in my life where I knew I needed to have faith to get through to the other side. One pivotal incident for me was when I wanted to walk out the health I knew I was always meant to have.
I was diagnosed with epilepsy and suffered many years from having seizures several times a day while also being on numerous medications. I heard God clearly say I was not meant to live with this, and He wanted me to walk in freedom. And yet, I looked at my circumstances and saw no way out—it was an impossible situation. I consulted leaders in my life and they assured me that they would be with me—walking it out, supporting me. I consulted with my doctor and he was on board too, knowing I was in a safe environment. I then decided to wean off my medication and see what my body would do.
During this time I remember Geordie Mumby saying “Faith looks like hearing God, believing Him and then following Him when things don’t make sense.” In this situation, that is exactly what I needed to do. I turned to God and asked how to have faith. He guided me through by giving me step-by-step instructions on how to trust Him and how to face fear, shame, and doubt. I ultimately decided that He is God and I am not—I needed to trust that He had a wonderful plan for my life. It might not look the way I thought it should look, but I knew God was a loving Father and following Him, and letting Him guide me through the storms, was my best chance of success.
Long story short, I hit a couple of bumps in the road along the way but I have come forth victorious. I have been off the medications for two years and haven’t had a seizure in over a year. A seemingly impossible circumstance in my life provided the opportunity I needed to decide that my faith needed to look like something. My trust needed to look like something.
I can tell you from experience that faith isn’t for the lighthearted, and isn’t always easy but I believe it starts out with the small things in our lives. Building that “faith muscle” each and every day and saying, “Jesus, I trust you, no matter what this road looks like!”